


Help

by Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness



Category: Casualty (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 22:20:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13727154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness/pseuds/Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness
Summary: “I-I I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know what, I’m doing and suddenly it’s just falling apart”  As Dylan hung up the phone he took a deep breath. He had made the call, now he just had wait.Where Dylan calls Lofty, not Zoe. (Dyfty Friendship)





	Help

“I-I I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know what, I’m doing and suddenly it’s just falling apart” As Dylan hung up the phone he took a deep breath. He had made the call, now he just had wait. 

He headed back to his boat, enjoying the relative quietness of the evening. When he got back he had another scotch before falling into a deep dreamless sleep . He awoke the next morning to the smell of bacon cooking, and a quiet humming in the kitchen. Curiosity getting the better of him, he got out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. He was greeted by a head of dark curls and a knowing smile.   
“I thought you were working today?” Dylan asked  
“I have understanding boss, and I have been helping out a lot recently. Toast is done, bacon and eggs just finishing. There are also some Ginger nuts. Don’t give me that look, you need to eat something.” Lofty said with a smile  
“How the hell did you get in?” Dylan asked confusedly  
“Honestly? You forgot to lock your door last night. Anyone could have walked in” Lofty said sounding a little concerned “At least you have Dervla I guess, but she knew who I was so she was OK”   
“Oh, I...” Dylan began  
“So sit, coffee’s in the pot” Lofty said placing a plate of food in front of Dylan  
Dylan did as he was told, and Lofty sat opposite with his own plate of food, knowing Dylan wouldn’t want to to eat on his own  
“Dervla’s grown up” Lofty said with a smile   
Dylan barely looked up from his food, refusing to meet Lofty’s eyes. A part of his couldn’t believe how quickly Ben had responded.   
“So what’s your plan today?” Lofty asked “I know you’re not working”  
“I just...” Dylan started  
Lofty waited patiently though to be honest Dylan had no plan, well drinking maybe but that was about it. He needed to walk Dervla of course.   
“We could go out, get some fresh air, go for a walk..” Lofty suggested remembering Dylan’s enjoyment being outside  
“I don’t know...” Dylan had honestly wanted to sit and wallo, but looked like that wouldn’t happen with a energetic Ben.   
“We could watch TV again, like we did that Christmas...” Lofty said with a soft smile  
“Things were different then, Dervla needs a walk...” Dylan conceded  
“Cool well get changed when you’re finished, and we’ll go for a walk” Lofty said with enthusiasm   
They finished in silence, Dylan quickly got changed, hoping in part the quicker they walked Dervkla, the quicker he could leave. Dylan grabbed the lead and attached it to Dervla collar. As they left Dylan made sure to lock his boat. They walked in companionable silence along the dock. Dervla enjoying the fresh air, the smells and sounds fo being outside.   
“I was a little alarmed to get your call, what’s happening?” Lofty tried the direct approach  
“It was...it was nothing” Dylan answered not even sure why he had called Ben. Zoe had been his other option, but with her being away in America, it made it a little more difficult.   
“Hm...” Said Lofty “Well I doubt it was nothing”  
“Hows..um..Keller?” Dylan asked  
“It’s a change, Fletch has tightened security since the shooting. We are all trying our best to move on” Lofty answered “New faces keep appearing, but you know, life has to go on”  
“Are the staff..are they...um...being understanding” Dylan asked awkwardly  
“We are a close knit group on Keller, hence why I was able to sort today” Lofty answered with a smile  
“Its not too slow for you?” Dylan asked  
“No I kind of like the pace, I spend more time with patients, I did go to AAU for a while, however well with everything that went on, it was decided I think to keep certain teams together plus witnessing surgery sometimes is fascinating”  
“You and Dr. Copeland?” Dylan asked  
“How do you know about...oh Robyn of course. Yeah, I mean we had a rocky start but now were, you know friends” Lofty answered with a slight blush  
“Hm..” Dylan answered looking across the water  
“I was meant to ask you, how was France?” Lofty said fishing for information without demanding it.  
“If you had stayed at ED you could have come, then you would know” Dylan answered shortly  
“I don’t think I could have done that, I’m a humanitarian for sure but” Lofty said looking at Dylan’s facial expression carefully “All that suffering and knowing that I could only help for a while, then I would have to leave those people to the mercy of whatever was going on, I couldn’t do it”   
He noticed a micro expression move across Dylan’s face. Bingo. Lofty had found at least part of the issue.  
“Well you would have liked it...there were lots of kids” Dylan finished “You like kids, your good with them I remember”  
“I do have to admit that is one thing I miss on Keller, you don’t get many kids” Lofty said “I plan to do a rotation on paediatrics for a few months later this year” Lofty said with a smile  
“I don’t understand why you are not there now” Dylan asked   
“At the moment, it wouldn’t be good. I like were I am, at least until things are sorted” Lofty finished “What was it like in France? At the camp? Was it as terrible as people say?” Lofty asked again  
“People trying to escape the country doing everything they could...the only people who benefit are the Smugglers”  
“That sounds terrible” Lofty emphasises  
Dylan remained quiet, and Lofty continued to watch his friend with concern.   
“Did something happen with a refugee? I hear Alicia had a bit of a difficult time” Lofty pressed  
Dylan stopped for a second, he seemed torn between talking to Lofty or not  
“Dom used to keep things quiet,” Lofty mused “Then, well it took a while but now we talk more, I think it helps.” Lofty said “When I told Sacha about my relationship between 2 people, I mean I loved both people, but one was a guy and a girl. I felt better”   
“You’re interested in men?” Dylan asked  
“I am very interested in a certain man at the moment, but I don’t think anything will happen, so tell me what happened in France?” Ben allowed  
“I..um..yeah..in France...there was a boy” Dylan began “He was um trying to get to England to be with family”  
“They wouldn’t let him? Immigration laws and such” Lofty guessed  
“No, so we uh worked round that. Then, well things just stopped working” Dylan said quietly “His currently, well not here. I don’t know were he is. I hope his safe”   
Lofty knew Dylan was leaving out a huge chunk but he could fill in the blanks  
“You brought him here didn’t you?” Lofty asked both in awe and worried that Dylan would so such a thing.   
Dylan didn’t answer, which gave Lofty the answer he needed. Lofty whistled.  
“That must have been tough though, I mean having him around then not” Lofty said surprised Dylan would share his space with another person however, understanding Dylan’s need to help Lofty had new respect for Dylan. He really didn’t think he could havee admired the man more than he did now.  
“Dervla liked having someone else around” He finished  
“She would” Lofty said with a smile “I hear you’ve been looking after ED with Connie being unwell at the moment?”   
“How do you know everything going on in ED?” Dylan demanded  
“I’m a nurse...” Said Lofty   
“… and” Said Dylan  
“Nurses know about what goes on around the hospital, plus I get regular updates from friends” Lofty said with a chuckle  
“Yeah well that’s going to change soon apparently” Dylan answered  
“I guess it’s logical you are the most senior” Said Lofty “Though that can’t help, unless you like to stay busy”  
“You realised you couldn’t cope with a leadership role” Dylan enquired to Lofty not unkindly  
“Yeah and look how that turned out. Ran before I could walk” Lofty said bitterly ”then it ended in disaster, which led to a loss of life,”  
“It was an accident Ben, a tragic accident” Dylan said firmly  
“Try telling that to my mind with the panic attacks and nightmares I had afterwards. The nightmares were awful. It was hardly a pleasant experience for Max and Robyn.” Lofty said thoughtfully remembering how Robyn had found him one night in his room after a nightmare and he was shaking uncontrollably or when Max found him in the staffroom after it had happened. He’d never been more grateful to his housemates than at that moment.   
“When I was away, they stopped. Moving away from the situation helped, even for a while. I have to say apart from before my first shift on Keller, my nightmares stopped. Sometimes you have to remove yourself from the situation that is giving you stress. Some people say its running away, but I think its self preservation. Your mind needs a chance to recover, maybe it’s the same for you?”  
“Do you think...well I would be so bored without doing something to do. I am not just going to take off and leave people who relay on me” Dylan said gruffly  
“Like me” Lofty finished quietly “Do you know my one regret leaving? Leaving behind my friends. I’m sorry about doing that, I saw the card that you brought. Everything you did on my last day. It meant a lot to me”   
“Yeah?” Said Dylan   
“Then you didn’t come out for drinks, that hurt” Lofty confessed  
“I don’t do things like that” Dylan answered “You had everyone else”  
“I did, but the one person I really wanted to explain things to, the reasons didn’t come, I was sad at first but then when I thought about, I realised why you chose not to come”  
“Really? You know why” Dylan asked  
“Sometimes goodbye’s are the hardest things you have to do, they get you in a way that you never thought they would. You don’t realise how dependent you are on that person until they’ve or you have moved on”  
“You came back?” Asked Dylan curiously   
“I came back...home,,,” Lofty answered “Because I missed it. Because I missed the routine, the people, the life...Oz was a dream, but you can only live in a dream for a while before you need to face reality”  
“Reality, the vain of my life” Dylan groaned  
“So what else has been going?” Lofty asked   
“Sam returned...” Dylan answered “My ex wife”  
“Oh, did it not go well?” Lofty enquired  
“We barely talk to each other, I had David to talk to for a while, his strangely similar to you, though a less clumsy but even he...well his very busy at the moment” Dylan finished  
“I noticed the empty bottle of scotch on the surface...I thought you didn’t like it any more” Lofty queried trying to tread carefully  
“I’m allowed a drink” Dylan said  
“I know, I just found it...well you hardly drank before” Lofty continued “you avoided it”  
“People change Ben” Dylan answered  
“Maybe, how often...” Lofty asked quietly  
“I...” Dylan thought about lying to Lofty “It relieves some of the stress”  
“Hmm...how often do you have stress to relieve” Lofty asked  
“Most days” Dylan answered evasively   
“Have you tried, doing other things to help, like walking Dervla?” Lofty asked  
“We walk every day” Dylan answered  
“No long walks, over the fields, places were she can run and play” lofty continued  
“Hmm...” Dylan answered  
“Look Dylan, I ran from my problems, regrouped and came back better...I wonder if you can do the same...if you are on shift...intoxicated...” Lofty didn’t know how to finish the sentence worried he would push Dylan over the edge “I had a friend, who was hooked on steroids. He’d had lots of bad things happen previous. He began to think he couldn’t function without them,they changed him. His clean now, he worked his way out of it, with support. Don’t run from your problems Dylan, think about the risks of being unwell on shift, patient care is paramount. You are always so careful with peoples lives...what if something goes wrong?”  
“Nothing goes wrong, I am fine. I continue as normal” Dylan defended  
“Normal is not needing a drink to get thorough the day, or having the stress of the world on your shoulders or even losing someone you care about. Give it a break. Give yourself a break. Lofty hoped he was being reasonable. He often over stepped the mark, but was trying not to as he didn’t want to scare Dylan   
“That ship sailed Ben. You left me remember? You have no say in my life at all.” Dylan countered  
“I’m a friend whose worried about you, I’m worried about your well being, I am worried that it will all come tumbling down and you will be left with nothing. Look you are so much stronger than me, you can lead, you can take charge, you have the skill and confidence.. Dylan you are an amazing doctor and a resourceful person, who will never forgive themselves if they mess up on shift and someone gets hurt”  
“I don’t have your feelings Ben, I don’t have to run to escape or I don’t make errors in judgement. I am a professional, which is more than can be said about you sometimes” Dylan finished crossly  
Lofty’s eyes were down cast at that moment, but when he looked at Dylan, Dylan was startled to see tears backed by determination.   
“I knew I needed help, I sought help, I got help in my own way” He said “I am stronger than I was before, I am in a job I love and would not want to jeopardise, I have the most understanding boss in the entire hospital. Do you know what I was called the other day? Naive and it sounded very much like something you would say and you know what? I stood up for myself, I fought for myself something I would not have done before in the ED. I am a stronger person because I took a break from the stress, I sought refuge, I learnt new skills, safe coping strategies, met new people and when I came back home I was ready to live in reality. So maybe I did run, as you seem eager to remind me, but I saved myself. If you continue down this road, if this continues...god Dylan what if you end up hurting someone, you may never move on from that” Lofty continued “I didn’t come here to fight, you asked for help...I always try to help my friend, that’s the best thing to do, and I want to help you. Did you know Zoe is back? Max messaged me earlier. Maybe you should try and see her”   
“Why so she can give me a lecture?” Dylan asked annoyed   
“No, so you can talk to a friend. Maybe 18 months ago I could have helped you, but I honestly think you need to speak to Zoe” Lofty finished   
Dylan was quiet for a minute. When he looked up the tears had gone from Lofty’s eyes. His eyes still looked slightly red, though maybe that was Dylan’s guilt showing.   
“Look I’m not going anywhere, I am staying in Holby. If you need anything...”  
“Sometimes its hard to, I mean know you are here to stay a while and I appreciate the gesture”  
“Its not just a gesture, I mean it, if you need anything I will try to help you” Lofty answered  
They headed back to Dylan’s boat. Lofty watched Dylan cautiously   
“Look if you….well if you ever need anything, please call me” Lofty said “I know I haven’t been a great friend since being back, but well I will do what I can to help”  
“I don’t need you to worry about me, I am perfectly capable of looking after myself.” Dylan answered huffily  
“I know” Lofty said “But even the strongest need help sometimes”  
“I am still disappointed in you Ben, I am disappointed you left ED” Dylan confided  
Lofty hated hearing that word, but knew that was how Dylan felt. He wouldn’t say he was angry or upset.   
“I can live with that...what I can’t live with is you needing support and me not supporting you” Lofty finished.  
Dylan continued to walk in silence with Lofty. Just then Lofty’s phone  
“Lofty...Dom? Everything OK?”  
“No, it’s not. Essie has...had to go home for personal reasons, Sacha’s taken her home and we are down an experienced nurse, I know you needed today to sort some things but you could come in and help, it would really help us...well it would really help me” Dom finished  
“Yeah, It’s OK. Give me an hour?”   
“Sure, brilliant. See you then” Dom answered hanging up  
“Right, so how about we walk back to your boat, you drop Dervla off, then walk with me to Holby. Max has messaged me and said Zoe is there now”  
Well Dylan didn’t have anything else to do, and to be honest he thought it might be good to chat to Zoe. Dylan nodded and they headed back to his boat. They dropped Dervla off and then proceeded to walk to Holby. Just as Dylan he saw Zoe waiting at the entrance and chanced a look at Ben who feighned a look of innocence,   
“Look Dylan, if you need anything, please call me” Lofty said   
He turned to Dylan and gave him a hug, of course which Dylan didn’t return. He did see Zoe smile though, and Lofty waved to her before off to Keller.


End file.
